More than anything, I want God’s will for my life. However, if I’m honest, I have a battle that rages within me. My flesh pulls me one direction while God’s Spirit calls me another. I want to operate in grace, forgiveness, humility, and trust, but my human nature often wants justice, vindication, and understanding. What helps me feel beter is that the apostle Paul who penned most of the New Testament suffered the same. He wrote in Romans 7
“So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind… What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?” (Romans 7:21–24)
How comforting it is to know that one of the greatest men of faith understood exactly what it feels like to battle the desires of the flesh.
One of the hardest temptations we face is the desire to defend ourselves. When people misunderstand us, misjudge our motives, or believe things that simply aren’t true, we desperately want to explain ourselves. We think, If they only knew the truth, they would see me differently. They would treat me differently, they wouldn’t judge me so harshly.
No matter how hard we try, some people are committed to their version of us. They may cling to bitterness, offense, pride, or judgment, refusing to extend grace or consider another perspective.
Author Dream Hampton wisely said,
“Never waste your time trying to explain who you are to people who are committed to misunderstanding you.”
Those words remind me that not every battle is mine to fight. People often see us through the lens of their own experiences, fears, wounds, assumptions, and disappointments. Their perception of us is filtered through what is happening inside them, not necessarily by the truth of who we are. God reminds us in Isaiah that His thoughts are higher than our thoughts and His ways are higher than our ways. His perspective is perfect when ours is limited.
The writer of Hebrews gives us a better focus:
“Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith…” (Hebrews 12:2)
Instead of obsessing over what our critics think, replaying conversations, or trying to convince people who have already made up their minds, we can turn our eyes toward Christ. His opinion carries eternal weight. The approval of people is temporary; the approval of God is everlasting. The beautiful truth is that God doesn’t see me through the lens of condemnation. Because of Jesus, He sees me through grace. The costly grace paid for on the cross. He knows every hidden fault, every wrong motive, every failure, and yet He loves me completely. He forgives what I confess, restores what is broken, and continues the work of making me more like Christ. When I remember that, I no longer have to spend my life seeking vindication from people. My identity is secure in the One who knows me completely and loves me perfectly.
Like Paul, I can move from despair to hope and declare,
“Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7:25)
May we spend less time trying to win the approval of people, convice them of who we are, and more time pursuing the heart of God. His grace is enough. His opinion is enough and we begin to understand true love when we look at ourselves through the eyes of grace.
