A New Year’s Reflection on Change, Love, and Acceptance
Happy New Year! Have you made any resolutions?
Taking personal assessments and setting new goals are familiar parts of each new year. Growth and development are signs of life. There is nothing wrong with recognizing areas where we need to mature, heal, or make healthier choices.
Unhealthy Change
However, there is a destructive way to approach a New Year’s resolution: deciding to change yourself in order to earn someone else’s love. Healthy change flows from a desire to grow—not from the fear that you are unworthy of love. If someone does not love you for who you are, becoming someone you are not will not create genuine love. You may gain their approval, cooperation, or temporary attention, but love obtained through performance will always leave you wondering whether you are truly known and accepted. If you continually feel unloved or unacceptable within your relationships, perhaps it is time to stop and assess your circle. Are the people around you encouraging healthy growth, or are they making their love dependent upon your ability to satisfy their expectations?
You do not have to change yourself to make God love you. His love is not a prize you earn by becoming perfect. Scripture tells us that Christ died for us while we were still sinners. God did not wait for us to become worthy before demonstrating His love.
“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
As you consider your New Year’s resolutions, examine them in the light of God’s love. Pursue growth because you are loved—not because you are trying to become lovable.
This Week’s Poem
This week’s poem is about being in a relationship with someone who does not have the capacity to love you in the way you long to be loved. You may be able to gain compliance, temporary peace, or the appearance of affection, but you cannot force another person to offer genuine love. Trying harder will not create within someone what they are unwilling or unable to give. The deepest need for perfect love and complete acceptance cannot be satisfied through performance or another person’s approval. That longing ultimately leads us back to the One whose love is freely given and perfectly secure.
Closing Reflection
Growth is a valuable gift, but the reason behind our desire to change matters.
This year, ask yourself:
- Am I pursuing this goal because it will help me become healthier and more faithful?
- Am I trying to change so someone else will approve of me?
- Have I confused compliance or attention with genuine love?
- What would it mean to pursue growth from the security of God’s love?
You are free to grow without rejecting who you are. You are free to change without auditioning for love. Most importantly, you can rest in the truth that God loved you before you ever made yourself worthy.
