There was no quiet coffee in the peace of Christmas morning while everyone was still in peaceful slumber. That almost holy time did not exist for me that year, nor did any semblance of the Christmas we knew and loved. Things can always be worse, but they certainly could have been better.
During tragedy, God does not run or hide; He shows up. When we ask, He strengthens us, comforts us, and gives us eyes to see the blessings hidden within our pain. What follows is a heartbreaking series of events our family experienced. Yet in all my weakness, God was strong within me. He gave our family peace, clear direction, and unity as we honored my dad’s wishes.
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’” 2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV
A Series of Unfortunate Events
On December 11, my mom was diagnosed with COVID-19. I came to care for her and initially stayed in my motorhome in her driveway. I wore a mask and gloves and kept my distance. On December 12, my dad lost his ability to walk, sit up, and speak, and we thought he had suffered a stroke. Mom became so weak that she could barely get out of bed, so I moved into the house. Eventually, I had to call an ambulance, and Dad was taken to the hospital. I did not know it then, but that would be the last time I would ever be physically near him.
Test results revealed that Dad had not experienced a stroke but was suffering from severe complications of COVID-19. He lost basic abilities, could no longer feed himself, and became completely disoriented. My dad had always been a fighter, and in his confusion, he fought to escape the hospital bed and room. Because he was a COVID-19 patient, no one familiar could enter his room to comfort him. I managed to get into the hospital, where I saw him through the small ICU window and spoke to him by phone. When the nurse pointed me out, the last coherent words I heard him say were, “My daughter.” Those words still bless me.
The Other Two—From My Journal
I tested negative for COVID-19 on December 16, but Mom’s condition continued to worsen. I called an ambulance, and she entered the hospital on December 18. Her oxygen levels declined rapidly, and she struggled to breathe. I was thankful that the medical team treated her with remdesivir, convalescent plasma, vitamins, and oxygen. She fought hard to return home by Christmas while we prayed that Dad would survive long enough for Mom to be home before he passed.
I tested positive on December 23. Mom returned home on December 24, and Dad went to heaven on December 26. I had not seen my husband, son, or daughter-in-law since December 11, and I would not see them for another two weeks. I missed my family, my poodle Presley, my home, and the ability to shower without struggling to breathe. Still, I was deeply thankful that I could be there for Mom.
Stuff Happens
Was God angry with us? Did He send these events to punish us? No. Horrible things happen, but that does not mean God is angry or causing our pain. We may never understand why this side of heaven, but we can experience God as an ever-present help in trouble. He remained steady and faithful, guiding us through each decision and revealing small blessings along the way.
“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way.” Psalm 46:1–2 ESV
When the Answer Is No
When I knew Dad would die, I wanted to hold his hand so he would not be alone. I fought hard, but after my own diagnosis on December 23, every door closed. Despite my calls and appeals, hospital policy would not allow me into the COVID-19 ward. I was furious and heartbroken. Eventually, I surrendered what I could not control to God. As the illness weakened my body, peace began replacing my fight. I realized that God could be where I could not. He could comfort Dad even when I could not hold his hand.
Passing Away—From My Journal
Dad died surrounded through Zoom by his wife Pat, son Randy, son-in-law Chris, daughters-in-law, and beloved grandchildren. We laughed, reminisced, thanked him, and played the hymn that had spoken to him when he enlisted for the Korean War. Dad had been restless and fighting, but a sweet peace settled over him, even before he received comfort medication. That peace was all I wanted for him, and it assured me that he would soon be in the arms of Jesus.
“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7 ESV
God’s Care in Human Hands
We are thankful for the prayers and for the people God used to remind us that He was near. On the morning Dad passed, we had not eaten breakfast or considered lunch, but Mom’s neighbors arrived with bags of Chick-fil-A at exactly the right time. The smell reminded us that we needed nourishment. My son visited my husband, cared for Debby’s cat, and delivered protein bars, soup, tea, and frozen meals. Debby and her husband sent remedies and green juices, and my sister-in-law Lani brought robes, sweets, ham, and Christmas poppers.
Mom and I ate turkey dinners, pulled our poppers, and wore our paper crowns. It became a small celebration within the tragedy. Even when we were not thinking about our needs, God was—and He placed His care into human hands.
“Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7 ESV
Final Arrangements
The weeks were painful as we made Dad’s final arrangements while recovering from COVID-19. Yet beneath the grief was a peace nothing in this world could touch. COVID-19 could take a life, but it could not take love, steal God’s peace, or tarnish our hope. When we reached the end of our strength, family and friends stepped into the gap and sustained us.
As our family closed one chapter and began another without Dad, God’s steady peace held us together. My weakness did not prevent His power from working; it created room for His strength to carry me.
“Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” [2 Corinthians 12:9–10 ESV](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2%20Corinthians%2012%3A9-10&version=ESV
