The other day, I came across a Bethel Music song called “Goodness of God.” It brought back memories of the many questions I asked during my cancer journey—through diagnosis, treatment, and all the messy aftereffects.
One line reminded me of God’s faithfulness:
“All my life You have been faithful.”
It also stirred up the difficult questions we face when we suffer.
The Whys We All Ask
It is normal to question God when we are in pain. He is not offended by sincere questions from hurting hearts. My list was long:
- Why did I get cancer?
- Why do I struggle with fibromyalgia?
- Why are some prayers answered while others are not?
- Why do some good people die young while some mean people seem to live forever?
- On a lighter note, why do I gain weight just by looking at carbs?
Theologians and philosophers have wrestled with suffering for centuries. Many of their questions have no clear answers on this side of heaven. If the brightest minds cannot fully explain them, perhaps I will not be able to either.
Questioning My Questions
Some questions do not have answers we can understand right now. Obsessing over them can make us miserable.
When tragedy struck, I had to decide: Would I hold on to my anger, bitterness, and suspicion of God, or would I trust His character even when I did not understand what He was allowing?
Both positions require a kind of faith:
- Faith that God is good, even when life is painful.
- Or faith that He is indifferent or unkind.
Cancer forced me to decide quickly. I did not have the time—or the luxury—to remain trapped in bitterness.
Seeing Through the Right Glasses
Maybe our definition of God’s goodness needs adjusting. Is God only good when He protects us from pain?
None of us will pass through life without experiencing hardship, heartbreak, sickness, or loss. God’s goodness does not mean we will never suffer. It means He remains loving, faithful, and present within our suffering.
What we focus on gains power in our lives. If we put on “victim glasses,” we will see only loss. If we intentionally look for evidence of God’s goodness, we may discover unexpected strength, grace, and hope.
God did not answer every desperate prayer the way I wanted Him to. That does not mean He abandoned me. He showed up in ways I had not expected.
The Question I Can Answer
Here is the question I can answer:
Will I choose to recognize God’s goodness in my life?
When I chose to build upon the goodness I already knew of Him, I began to recognize His love everywhere.
If I had died from cancer, would God have been any less good? No. His goodness is greater than the outcome of any earthly circumstance. Through Jesus, He made a way for us to be forgiven and receive a living hope and an eternal home—whether or not our prayers are answered as we desire.
“According to His great mercy, He has caused us to be born again to a living hope…to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you.” 1 Peter 1:3–4 ESV
Treasures Within Hardship
Cancer forced me to prepare for death, but it also gave me a deeper view of life. I would never choose to experience it again, but I am grateful for the treasures I found within that difficult journey:
- Renewed assurance of heaven
- Restored faith in humanity through kindness I did not expect
- A fresh discovery of God’s humor, brilliance, and power
The darkness of cancer opened my eyes to a side of God I might never have seen otherwise.
The Bread Question
Okay, I still have one mystery left: carbs.
If bread is so bad for us, why did Jesus break bread with His disciples? Why did God send manna from heaven? Why did Jesus call Himself the Bread of Life? Bread appears throughout the Bible, so there must be more to this story!
I will continue studying this important theological mystery. However, if I do not have my carb answer by the time I reach the Pearly Gates, it will be on my list to discuss with God—coffee cup in hand—on my heavenly front porch.
Take a Moment
Take a moment to listen to “Goodness of God.” Let its message wash over you as you remember the good things God has done in your life.
Even in the darkness—through the questions, doubts, and fears—He is with you.
If you are struggling to believe that God is good, ask Him to help you recognize His goodness. Remain open to the possibility that His answer may appear in a way you did not expect.
Prayer
God, I do not understand why some things happen. You know my questions, disappointment, fear, and pain. Help me trust Your character when I cannot understand my circumstances.
Open my eyes to the ways You have carried me, comforted me, and shown me Your love. Keep bitterness from taking root in my heart. Remind me that Your goodness is not limited to the answers I want or the outcomes I can see.
Thank You for giving me a living hope and an eternal inheritance through Jesus. Help me recognize Your presence, even in the darkness.
In Jesus’ name, amen.
Disclaimer
This blog is intended for spiritual encouragement and general educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, counseling, or treatment.If you are living with cancer, fibromyalgia, depression, PTSD, trauma, or another physical or mental health condition, please seek support from appropriately licensed professionals. Discuss these suggestions with your healthcare provider or counselor and ask which approaches are appropriate for you. Never delay or discontinue medical treatment based on information in this blog.
