The Mother’s Lot
Motherhood is both tough and glorious. From the advent of menses to the pain of childbirth, mom’s know pain, it’s part of our lot. As our children grow, the joys, the love, and the heartache grow with them. We care, we invest our lives in them, and we love them more than we thought possible. Nothing parallels the pain of watching your child struggle hurt, be bullied, or deal with self-hatred, mental or physical disabilities. Every mom I know has said that they wish they could take their child’s pain on them. If only we could do this! It’s the rose and thorns in the gift of love; we don’t feel the pain of our children unless we care unless we love them. It’s our lot, but I’d rather have the joy of love and deal with the pain.
Moms, Love, Children, and Loss
I’m blessed to have the best, most angelic mom. At the same time, my heart aches for those who feel the void of spending the first Mother’s Day without theirs. My hubby Chris’s mom, Selah passed away this year. This is the first Mother’s Day without her. Others are moms who’ve been utterly crushed because it’s the first Mother’s Day without their son or daughter. One is Libby Boyce, Cameron Boyce’s mom. Cameron was only 20 when he died from the epilepsy-related condition SUDEP. Ahmaud Abrey’s mom Wanda Cooper, whose son was tragically murdered in cold blood while jogging in February. They finally charged and arrested his killers. Both deaths are senseless and appalling. Many friends have lost their moms, grandbabies, or have miscarried this past year. How do you face the day when half of your heart is decimated? Jesus understands the feeling of a splitting heart.
“And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me…”
Matthew 26:39 English Standard Version (ESV)
How Can We Be Happy While Others Suffer?
I dealt with a lot of survivor’s guilt during my cancer battle. It’s easy to feel guilty living and enjoy life while someone you know is dealing with pain over the same situation that’s causing you joy. This day without my husband’s mom will be an adjustment as we enjoy the time with my own. Libby’s video on GMA broke my heart. When I saw this, I thought, how can I be happy and celebrate while other women are going through sheer devastation? Libby’s words in the article stood out to me, “I refuse to think that Cameron died in vain” she went on to say, “I hope that sharing Cameron’s story and the stories of other SUDEP mom warriors will be the catalyst for change.” We can never take away the pain of this loss, but if we desire to help, we can raise awareness for their cause, and we can pray for them.
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Romans 12:21 New International Version (NIV)
Bring The Good
Libby said that sharing the stories they share can be a catalyst for change. We saw the power of sharing in the case of Ahmaud. These arrests should have happened immediately, but people sharing their outrage helped bring some justice. Maybe another way to honor the pain of his mom is to look within and without. We should condemn the behavior of Ahmaud’s murders by confronting the behavior even at the tiniest level, within ourselves and our communities. Of course, we need to speak out wherever we see this injustice but let’s cut it at the root. Judging others, believing gossip, stereotypes, and jumping to assassinate someone’s character, come from the same root and should be stopped. Silence is consent. Let’s be vocal and create awareness in our world, assured that these loved ones didn’t die in vain. Romans 12:21 says that the way not to be overcome with evil is to overcome it with good. Let’s bring good when and where we can.
3 Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Psalm 127:3 New Living Translation (NLT)
Honor
Today we will soak up my mom’s sweet spirit as we spend time with her. We’ll also honor my hubby’s mom, Selah, who stepped into heaven earlier this year. I’m grateful for my amazing kids and their loves who have graced my life too. Thankfulness honors the depth of others’ losses, by deepening our compassion for them. Be grateful for the mom you have or have had, the children you have, pray for those who are suffering and enjoy every moment with your loved ones that day. If you’ve had complicated relationships with them, try to let some things go like unforgiveness, anger, expectations of them, giving what they don’t have, and that’s another way that we overcome evil with good. We need to hug our kids and our moms a little tighter to honor and understand the pain that our sisters feel as we lift them to heaven. Sometimes the only thing we can do is pray.
2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
Ephesians 6:2-3 English Standard Version (ESV)
Prayer
If you have lost a child or a mother, know that everyone reading this right now is praying for you. Know that God is there to comfort the brokenhearted and the crushed in spirit. Soak it up, honor the depth of relationships and their impact. Prayer is the most powerful tool. If I tell you that I’m praying, I’m 100% on my figurative knees, asking God for your need. I’m always grateful for anyone who prayers for me. God can be in places where no human can be; he is the only one that can effectively soothe the pain and comfort the aching heart. Take time to be grateful for your mom and kids today, honor those blessings that will one day be gone. Pray for those in pain and be thankful.
” The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
Psalm 34:18-20 English Standard Version (ESV)
Love and Blessings,
Sandy
