Stupid Arguments
Most arguments are a waste of time. Quite often, people are angry about many things and need a release. They aren’t interested in hearing from us or knowing our point of view. They need an outlet, and trying to change their mind won’t work. One who gets caught between someone and their anger becomes a victim. Romans 12 says we need to be at peace with all people as much as possible. However, some people won’t allow peace; they don’t want it. What do we do with such people? How do we deal with these difficult people?
"If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men.” Romans 12:18-19
Don’t Engage
Proverbs 22 warns us not to befriend hot-tempered men or even associate with someone who holds onto their anger. We can still love them, but from a distance. Angry people seem to hate peace. They want everyone around them to be as mad as they are. They don’t feel peace until they get others as angry as they are. Sometimes, it’s through hurting and offending others. If you are around them long enough, you harbor anger and bitterness from what they’ve done to you. The best thing to do is to limit contact and not engage. I haven’t arrived at this boundary yet, but I’m working on the triggers that compel me to engage.
"Don’t befriend a hot-tempered man, and don’t associate with one who harbors anger: lest you learn his ways, and ensnare your soul. Proverbs 22:24-25
Choose Wisely
Our inner circle influences us more than anything else in our lives. I believe that social media “friends” can be of influence, too. We can’t choose some people, so we must be prudent with anyone new. We should inventory how we feel after spending time with each person. If we feel bad about ourselves after time with them, that’s our sign to walk away. We should also set up some major boundaries. If we feel bad about ourselves, it’s a sign to limit contact. It’s the same if we become increasingly angry and contentious after hanging out with them. Restricting time around them helps us not to “learn their ways.”
"Follow after peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no man will see the Lord, looking carefully lest there be any man who falls short of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and many be defiled by it, lest there be any sexually immoral person, or profane person, like Esau, who sold his birthright for one meal. Hebrews 12:14-16
Follow After Peace
Discerning the difference between someone going through a difficult time and a consistently angry person is essential. Sometimes, a person needs a friend so they can vent, discuss, feel understood, and validate feelings. Prayerfully consider what they are saying and where certain things are coming from. A clue would be whether they are jealous or ambitious people. That could be the root of their trouble. James 3:16 gives us some wisdom. If we see jealousy or selfish ambition, we know this is the garden bed for “every evil deed.”
"For where jealousy and selfish ambition are, there is confusion and every evil deed. James 3:16-18 WEB
Be Stable
I feel deeply, and I am an emotional person. I have to work at acknowledging my feelings but not being led by them. 2 Peter 3 says not to let our emotions get carried away with the “error of lawless people.” Take note of your feelings when you’re around these people. When we start feeling stirred up by unsettled, bitter, jealous, angry people, it’s time to establish a boundary. We need to take action. We need to decide that they aren’t going to dictate how we feel. To do this, we need to grow in both grace and knowledge of Jesus. Growing in grace and our relationship with Jesus is the key to avoiding such things.
“In those, there are some things that are hard to understand, which the ignorant and unsettled twist, as they also do to the other Scriptures, to their own destruction.You, therefore, beloved, knowing these things beforehand, beware, lest being carried away with the error of the wicked, you fall from your own steadfastness. But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and forever. Amen.” 2 Peter 3:17-18
Prayer
Dear God, I ask that you give me understanding and wisdom. Please help me to recognize when someone starts to stir me up. I chose to step back and rely on your strength and wisdom. Lord, close the door to angry people’s influence over my heart. Do a work in me. Please help me be the person who isn’t drawn into the fray of an angry person. Change those people or move them out of my life. Thank you for sending peaceable and spirit-filled God lovers into my sphere of influence. In Jesus’s name, Amen.
