If you live long enough and are unfortunate enough to be in a relationship or have dealings with a toxic person, you can relate to this post. think one of the most challenging things to overcome is the fact that you never feel that you’ll get justice You’ve played into their hands They’ve manipulated the environment and people, and you’ve been silent They have controlled the narrative or the version of the “truth” they want everyone to know You did nothing out of either loyalty to them, someone you love, or because you wanted to be the bigger person Sometimes there’s not much you can do about things on the outside Before we can tackle that we must deal with what they did to you on the inside.
15 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;
Hebrews 12:15
Drinking Poison
If you are someone with a strong sense of justice, this is one of the hardest things to do. After all, they may have drawn us in by their victimhood; if not, they’ve set us against our friends or family by somehow becoming their victims. We made the mistake of choosing them, to defend them or give them a chance. They were the ones who were toxic, we did the “decent thing” by keeping quiet or allowing it, and now you are the one who has to do the work of forgiveness They were the ones who hurt, slandered, defamed, manipulated, and tried to destroy you, but now it’s on you to do the work and forgive? Our relationship with them was like a venomous snakebite. The snake will assume no responsibility for biting you, but if we want to live, we need the antivenom.
Unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die.
Marianne Williamson
The Antivenom
The antivenom for the ravages of pain, hurt, and offense isn’t complete without forgiveness. It’s not because they deserve forgiveness, no one who destroys you deserves forgiveness. We will never be whole if we carry out those offenses. They will always be fresh wounds that deeply affect our lives and our relationships with others and keep us in a victim mentality. We don’t realize we’ve been holding bitterness until something happens and he shows us. Sometimes it’s a simple conviction in our hearts. We don’t forgive because they deserve it. We forgive when we realize the depth at which Christ forgives us. If we have difficulty forgiving, maybe we need to talk with God about some of the things he forgives us from so that we can be in the space to forgive. Forgiveness doesn’t mean pursuing a relationship with them, if they are toxic, you should never go back, ever.
25 Whenever you [a]stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him [drop the issue, let it go], so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions and wrongdoings [against Him and others]
Mark 11:25
Prayer
God, I choose to forgive the deep thrash and wounds people have perpetrated on me. I choose to put justice into your hands and stop holding that bitterness that only poisons my life, making me a victim over and over. God help me see this situation the way you see it; I pray for justice and truth. Please give me the wisdom I need to never get into a situation like this again. I will follow your leading and your alerts in my soul.
Poem
